First Day

First days are the same across all continents, times, and ages. Truly.

I spent my first day trying to find friends, figuring out where to sit, and feeling awkward about what I wore to class that day. I felt like I was a kid back in kindergarten again and it was… strange.

Honestly, I’ve been blessed in life that I haven’t had to experience this in close to 15 years. I was blessed enough to go to university with my friend group from high school intact and I stayed with them for the following 4 years.

I’ve noticed that in my adult life, I’ve struggled to feel like I fit in. I often feel like I didn’t get the memo for how to dress, how to act, or what to say. Maybe along the route to adulthood I forgot to grab a pamphlet on learning to remove my foot from my mouth.

You know, everyone always says, “you are what you think you are,” or something just as equally motivating. Except it isn’t. At least not for me.

I’m not cool. I know that. I don’t want to be (or do I, secretly?), but the problem isn’t that. It’s when people tell me to ‘just act cool and you will be’. Bitch, no… because I obviously don’t even know how to act cool otherwise I’d actually be cool.

So, that aside, I should actually talk about classes and the whole educational experience.

Well shit. My first day was … shit. Started off okay, but quickly spiraled after lunch. First PKP class was Quantitative Analysis and it whooped my hiney. At the start things made sense and then we very quickly moved into regression models and I was lost like a guppy in an ocean.

– L


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