I just needed somewhere to write this down.
I found out recently that there was a rape-scandal related to a YouTuber that I used to follow when I was younger. Tobuscus.
I’m not going to go into the details, because the details are kind of available all over the internet and I know in a few years, I won’t care.
This sort of situation bothers me. I’m not entirely sure. Basically, it seems to be a he-said-she-said situation. I guess, I’m a little surprised how different people become over a seemingly short period of time. Toby seems to have changed since I started watching him in like 2007. Or perhaps not. But it makes me think…
He may not have raped anyone, but he hasn’t been a great person. He’s been a known cheater (though not known to me – I haven’t been following him in years) and drug abuser. He treats his girlfriends poorly, apparently, and is a manipulative asshole. But being an asshole doesn’t automatically convict you of being a rapist. The jury on that is still out.
The thing is, I couldn’t help but think about Karma. I’m not saying AT ALL that this is deserved. Or that in general, a rape accusation is deserved if you’re a bad person. No. That’s not it. What I can’t help thinking though, is that if you choose to live the life of an asshole – if you choose to treat people badly continuously, if you choose to use people, if you choose to hurt people, if you choose to be cruel to your friends, if you choose to be an out of control drug addict – it doesn’t matter if you’re truly guilty or not. It makes it THAT MUCH EASIER for the public to convict you.
Let’s face it, whether you’re actually guilty or not, it doesn’t really matter in the real world. In the real world, all that really matters is other people’s opinions. The fact that it COULD be true, is enough to change their opinion of you. It’s enough to put a scent of question around you. It’s enough to change the perception of you, just enough that you feel it walking into the room, like changing the temperature by 5 degrees.
I’m not sure what the story is here. I’m not sure if he’s really guilty or not. I’d like to believe not, because I’d like to believe that rape doesn’t happen in my happy little world, but the truth is that it does. I don’t know if the truth is that Toby is a rapist or not, but … Doesn’t matter now. Forever, in my mind anyways, my opinion of him has changed. I will always look at him a little differently now. I will always look at him and recall all the comments made about how he is a cheater, verbally abusive, mean, rude, self-centered, etc. etc. etc. It is so much harder to see the positives with all of these other truths coming out.
Anyways, sorry for the random post. Not really great considering I haven’t updated in forever. I’ve gotten more into updating in my physical journal again – gotten into fountain pens and calligraphy, so I need more excuses to write 🙂