First of all, can I just say that I am not happy with the WordPress app available to iPads? It’s shit! When it ‘autosaves’ a post, it basically reloads the page meaning that I have to constantly reclick the box that I want to type into. Stupid design. STUPID.
Okay, now that I’ve finished ranting, let’s talk about what things have changed since May 2015. I know that my last post was jumping the gun a little bit, but this one will hopefully clear up some of the main players.
I guess the biggest thing is the introduction of J. Or Jay. Um… yeah, I managed to hook myself a boyfriend. And he is amazing. Dammit. I’m still a little stunned that things have happened so quickly! It’s been 5 months now and it is still mind blowing. I’ve met his parents, he’s met mine. We’ve even gone on a trip abroad (with his extended family, no less).
So how did we meet? The most typical way possible for someone in our generation – online. Well, technically we met through Tinder, which is maybe worse. It carries all those negative connotations that we were just looking to boink and somehow managed to stumble into a relationship. Not entirely true. Possibly true on his end, but not on mine …
Let me recount the story, b/c god forbid I love telling stories:
I downloaded Tinder a while back, mostly because it was quick and I could fiddle around with it on my phone during slow work days. I didn’t have to put too much effort into it, basically. Anyways, I swiped right on Jay’s picture – I honestly can’t recall what the picture was, but he tells me it’s a silly one of him making silly faces.
As soon as I swipped right, he started messaging me. I remember the night pretty clearly, because it was the same day that we finally decided on Stephanie’s stupid bridesmaid dresses. I was out getting an icecream cake for our hangout at Fiona’s place and he sent me a message asking me for 3 random things to incorporate into a poem. I can’t remember what I told him, other than giving him ‘orange’ to try and mess with him.
He actually came back with a poem that ended up with asking me out for brunch (“for eggs benny with Lenny”). He seemed funny and flirtatious on Tinder, so I gave him my number and we kept texting sporadically for the next couple of weeks.
At the same time, I had also started talking to this guy, Chris T. He was kind of strange on text (a little too serious about his gaming), but I met up with him for sushi and he seemed nice enough. He had some odd habits (like eating with his hands?), but I chalked it up to being at a Japanese restaurant.
Anyways, at this point, I hadn’t met Jay yet. He was still just a guy texting me and to be 100% honest, the more he texted the more dorky I thought he was. He would text me in memes and do that annoying neckbeard thing of adding “le” in front of words. And sending me pictures of meme faces. I admittedly thought, “yeah, this guy is a mega dork”.
By the time that Jay and I arranged to actually meet for the first time, I had already had one date with Chris and was planning to double book myself for our second date. Namely, I had a brunch date with Jay and a dinner date with Chris.
When I showed up for breakfast, I was kinda of taken aback. Actually, I was completely thrown for a loop. Jay actually was really… kind of attractive. He dressed well, knew how to do his hair, was fairly confident and spoke like an actual human being. He was … pretty … yeah. I was surprised. I had misjudged him and kicked myself in the bum for it.
We had a pretty average brunch. Just sat and talked about ourselves; got to know each other. Then Jay asked if I wanted to continue talking over coffee, so we wandered over to Starbucks where we chatted about ourselves more. For some reason, I thought it would be appropriate to talk about our worst online dates. I shared the story of back-rubber and he talked about the 21 year old he met through Tinder. I found out tha the too went to U of C and that he was actually… younger than me. Oops.
I also found out he drove a fancy ass BMW, but wasn’t trying to rub it into my face, like some other guys I’ve been on dates with. He was pretty modest about it… which was attractive, to say the least.
He seemed to be enjoying the conversation and … by the time we finished our respective drinks, we had been on our date for 2 hours and he wanted to extend it! We ended up going to watch Jurassic Park together. I spent the whole time watching him from the corner of my eye and wondering what it’d be like to hold his hand. Heh.
After our date, we gave each other a hug and headed our separate ways. I headed over to pick Chris up from his home (b/c the guy didn’t know Calgary well and drove a mini van and yadda yadda) for our dinner date. We went to an all you can eat Indian restaurant where I sat politely listening to him rant about eugenics and how it wasn’t all that flawed of an idea. Yes, he knew exactly what my job entailed. The whole dinner just felt like it couldn’t end any sooner. The only problem was that it didn’t. He was sort of pushy and insisted that we do something after dinner, so we went for ice cream at village. We sat in the car and ate our ice cream while he complained about how parents should hit his kids (oh yes, he did – did I tell you he’s an elementary teacher?) and that fat shaming should be encouraged for the benefit of the ‘fat person’. I also sat in my car and watched him point out fat people and heard him make clear that if I were to gain any additional weight, that he’d drop me b/c it was a clear indicator that I didn’t care about myself.
And yet, the date from hell got even worse. On the car ride back to his place, he kept talking about how if someone has cheated, he’d drop them. Well, yeah, in a relationship that makes sense. They make a promise to be monogamous and then they cheat on someone, sure… you should drop them. But, he started saying that he has ditched friends because they’ve cheated on people. What? These are your friends… of course cheating is morally wrong, but it’s not like they cheated on you.
And yet somehow, I let this disaster convince me to come into his house and watch a few episodes of Brooklyn 99. Ouch. So awkward. I sat there on his couch as far away as I could get from and kept my eyes on the t.v. I couldn’t help but see him touch his feet and peel skin off of them while we watched though. It was disgusting and the last straw. I made an excuse that I had to be somewhere early in the morning and never called or texted him back. Hell no, Chris the Teacher. Hell no.
So yes, this was a side track from Jay.. but it’s just so hilarious that I had to share it!
Back to Jay and I. Following our first date, we promptly set up a second. I had told him that I went to the archery range often, and he asked that I bring him there. So I did… 2 days later. We went to the archery range together, where we… really connected. We spent the whole time joking and hip bumping, cause… that’s just how I am, I guess. Then we went to dinner at Brewsters where I may have gotten a little tipsy and a little too honest.
Shortly after our second date, we arranged a third. Like, the next day. We met up at Village Ice Cream and walked around the nearby park talking for hours. Then when it started getting a little chilly, we sat in his car listening to his music and chatting even more. I was sad to head home at the end of it.
Our fourth date was the day after; we met up after work for dinner at Famoso near his workplace. Chatted through dinner and then had another car date. This one really stands out in my mind because the asshole pointed out my sweat stains and oh my god, I died of humiliation. Except he was sweet about it. And held my hand after as we walked to the nearby COOP to use their bathroom.
By this point, I think it was clear to both of us that we really liked each other and there was some sort of chemistry happening. He started getting bold by text and honestly, so did I. He wanted to set up a fifth date right after, but we agreed to keep it to what we had intended to be our second date a week after our first. So we did. Our fifth date, we went to Jay’s favourite sushi place in Kensington. We sate together, like a couple, in our own little corner. He wrapped his arm around me as we ate and giggled and made fun of ourselves. I had made tiramisu for him (since it was his favourite and I had convinced him not to bother ordering the one off the menu date 4). We walked up to the nearby park where we sat on a bench and shared our first messy kiss(es). I couldn’t help giggling the whole time and maybe ruined the romantic atmosphere…oops.
On that hill, he convinced me to come over to his place to “netflix and chill”. We didn’t do much netflix watching; we just made out instead. I liked the way he seemed to light up around me. And I liked the way I lit up around him. It was … pretty amazing.
Everything else after that happened pretty quickly. He said he loved me first (though he’ll say I said it first, whenever it’s convenient to the story). I did, technically say it first since I said it as a joke. He pointed out that he hated PT Cruisers and I laughed and said it. Then he wouldn’t stop muttering it under his breath the entire night. That was Canada Day. <3. Best holiday ever, did I mention that?
Shortly after (as in literally days after), we agreed to be exclusive. And … here I am now. Well, add 5 months of seeing each other almost 4x a week. I’m no longer single. I’m no longer a virgin. And best of all… I’m no longer unhappy.
Of course, I still have my doubts. Of course, I’m still worried about the things I can’t control. That will always be inherent in the way that I am. But, I have him. I know that I have him. I know that he really loves me and I know that he’s not going anywhere… just like I’m not going anywhere.
This relationship…. It’s so different than what I expected. It feels so … different. I feel so calm. I don’t get butterflies and my heart doesn’t race when I see him. Instead, I feel calm and I feel … like I can think. Like I’m the one in control and that this is MY decision. I guess that’s healthy.
It’s so different from anything I’ve ever experienced before, but it’s also… so comforting. I think the last time I fell in love, both my feet were off the ground. This time around, it feels like both feet are securely planted, but… it’s good. I don’t feel like I’m out of control. And I know exactly what he feels about me. I know that he’s not going anywhere. I trust him.
I’m bot sure where things will go between us. Of course I’m hoping for the best, but I’m also not… how do I say this? I’m not going to die without him. I think that’s healthy, isn’t it? I don’t need him… I want him. I want him to share my life with me.
Anyways, long post. Hopefully it’ll cover everything that has been missed in the few months I’ve disappeared.