Lonely.

I am feeling so alone right now. The one person that I want to talk to in the whole wide word… doesn’t want to talk to me. I’ve been drinking a little… Just one beer, but it’s enough to make me feel awful. When am I supposed to feel better? When am I supposed to forget my problems? I guess it doesn’t work like that. 

 

My mind keeps telling me all the reasons I need to let it go. Just move on. Stop believing he cares about me. We are just friends. JUST friends. Please. Please heart, get that through your thick layers. Friends. Please don’t lose a good friend because you’re too selfish. I don’t know if I’m feeling the alcohol pumping through my veins or if I’m feeling the heartache… but something is burning them up. 

I’m sorry … there was no point to this post. I just am lonely. I’m so tired of writing letters and posts and messages to no one. Of talking to myself. I’m so tired of being in this room alone. I’m tired of being in this city alone. I’m tired of being in this body and this mind alone. I’m so tired. I just want it to be over… 

Sometimes I wish a meteor would collide with the earth. Something out of our hands and out of my control. Just something to accept, just like my heartbreak. Just something that will happen, no matter what we try to do. Can’t change the direction of a meteor; can’t change the direction of someone else’s heart. 

Just collide with me and end it. 

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