I am simply wasting my time on someone who doesn’t love me. Someone who doesn’t care about me enough to even reply to me…
What do I want? I want someone who doesn’t want to go to sleep because he wants to keep talking to me. I want someone who wakes up after his inevitable fail, and reached for the phone to call. I want someone who simply loves me as much as I love him. If I could will him into existence I would. But I can’t.
All I can do is hope somehow, somewhere there exists someone who will one day love me as much as I will love him. But, honestly… that hope shrinks month to month, year to year.
I’m starting to give up. I’m starting to think all I have is myself and being alone. And I try to tell myself that it’s okay. That I can do it alone. That I can have everything I wanted alone. But it’s all lies.